Dirty Jokes!@#$%^!

A short thing, it gets longer when u hold it & pass between breasts & enters into a hole. What is it?

Car seat belt, u dirty mind.

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Newton's 3 laws

1.Every man has a pole, woman has a hole

2.When pole enters hole, it produces a new soul

3.When hand in motion, it produces lotion.

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Good morn.wishing u SEDUCTIVE & HORNY day LICKED by love & PENATRATED by heavenly graces & may all ur misfortunes be EJACULATED before the day has CLIMAXED.

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If u have 2 balls between ur legs then ur a man but if u have 4 balls between ur legs, dont think ur superman, there's someone fucking u.

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If God made the upper part of woman, who built the lower half? A negro. why? well, who else would give it curly hairs, thick lips & make it smell like africa.

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A penis is a gentleman, when it sees a lady, it stands. It is also an artist. After every performance, it bows. It is also a gissiper, it goes from mouth to mouth.

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SPLASH NEWS

A new generation napkin made specially to satisfy women. Introducing new sanitary napkin with finger, keeps u wet even if u dry.

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Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?

Ans: Who cares?

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A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She asked her husband but hedidn't know. Husb asked maid.

Maid replied: sir, u better know I dont wear panties.

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A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend shocked he asked his wife

"what r u doing with him here?"

wife: "darling, I've gone public"

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Height of sophistication: sucking nipples with a straw.

Height of Technology: Condom with zip.

Height of fashion: Baggy condoms.

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Man went 2 hotel where only ladies r waiter.

He orderd milk.

waiter opens bra shows her balls and ask to suck milk.

Man said thank god i didnt asked 4 water.

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Adam must have been some kind of a nut!

Who else would sit next to a naked woman and chew apples instead of nipples.

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Man touches wife's breast: If you firm these, u can get rid of bra.

Wife grabs his dick: If u firm this, we can get rid of postman, gardener & ur bro.

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One day secretary saw her boss's pant unzipped & said:Boss, ur garage door's opened.

Boss: do u c my FERRARI? she: No, I See a small scooter with 2 punctured tyres.

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4 types of woman having sex

1-asthamatic, ah..aahh..ah..ahh.

2-obedient, yes..oh yes..ah yes.

3-greedy, more..more..pls.

4-religious, oh god..oh god.

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Whats common between the sun & the woman's pantie?

1-both are hot

2-both look better while going down

3-both disappears by night.

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3 GOOD MANNERS OF MALE PENIS:

1. COURTEOUS - IT STANDS BEFORE PERFORMING

2. EMOTIONAL-IT CRIES DURING THE PERFORMANCE.

3. POLITE-IT BOWS DOWN AFTER PERFORMANCE.

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A nurse walking thru hosp. with 1 boob hangin out of uniform.

The sr.Doc.caught her.

She said: These ward boys never put back anything in place after using.

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Women's top 5 lies:

1-I love u

2-I'm virgin

3-I hate sex

4-its too big

5-I cant do that, i hate sucking.

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Who enjoys sex more? Man or Woman?

Look at it this way. When ur ear etches & u put ur finger in it & wiggle it around, who feels better?

finger or ear.

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There were 4 pencils in a box, 3 male & 1 female.

female gets pregnent.

Which one is responsible?

Ans:The one without rubber.

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Girls are appetisers. tastes good at anytime.

Mistress are PIZZA-hot & spicy, eaten frequently.

Wife is CURD-RICE, eaten when there's nothing.

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A kiss is a gamble, sex is a game, boys do the action, girls get the blame, they say u r pretty, they say u r fine, but 9 months later, they say its not mine

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