10 FEET ??LION || TIGER??

THE 5 SECRETS OF "PERFECT RELATIONSHIP"

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, cooks good, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh & she is cute.

3. It's important to have a woman whom you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is romantic and who loves to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

Dirty Jokes!@#$%^!

A short thing, it gets longer when u hold it & pass between breasts & enters into a hole. What is it?

Car seat belt, u dirty mind.

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Newton's 3 laws

1.Every man has a pole, woman has a hole

2.When pole enters hole, it produces a new soul

3.When hand in motion, it produces lotion.

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Good morn.wishing u SEDUCTIVE & HORNY day LICKED by love & PENATRATED by heavenly graces & may all ur misfortunes be EJACULATED before the day has CLIMAXED.

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If u have 2 balls between ur legs then ur a man but if u have 4 balls between ur legs, dont think ur superman, there's someone fucking u.

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If God made the upper part of woman, who built the lower half? A negro. why? well, who else would give it curly hairs, thick lips & make it smell like africa.

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A penis is a gentleman, when it sees a lady, it stands. It is also an artist. After every performance, it bows. It is also a gissiper, it goes from mouth to mouth.

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SPLASH NEWS

A new generation napkin made specially to satisfy women. Introducing new sanitary napkin with finger, keeps u wet even if u dry.

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Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?

Ans: Who cares?

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A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She asked her husband but hedidn't know. Husb asked maid.

Maid replied: sir, u better know I dont wear panties.

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A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend shocked he asked his wife

"what r u doing with him here?"

wife: "darling, I've gone public"

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Height of sophistication: sucking nipples with a straw.

Height of Technology: Condom with zip.

Height of fashion: Baggy condoms.

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Man went 2 hotel where only ladies r waiter.

He orderd milk.

waiter opens bra shows her balls and ask to suck milk.

Man said thank god i didnt asked 4 water.

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Adam must have been some kind of a nut!

Who else would sit next to a naked woman and chew apples instead of nipples.

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Man touches wife's breast: If you firm these, u can get rid of bra.

Wife grabs his dick: If u firm this, we can get rid of postman, gardener & ur bro.

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One day secretary saw her boss's pant unzipped & said:Boss, ur garage door's opened.

Boss: do u c my FERRARI? she: No, I See a small scooter with 2 punctured tyres.

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4 types of woman having sex

1-asthamatic, ah..aahh..ah..ahh.

2-obedient, yes..oh yes..ah yes.

3-greedy, more..more..pls.

4-religious, oh god..oh god.

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Whats common between the sun & the woman's pantie?

1-both are hot

2-both look better while going down

3-both disappears by night.

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3 GOOD MANNERS OF MALE PENIS:

1. COURTEOUS - IT STANDS BEFORE PERFORMING

2. EMOTIONAL-IT CRIES DURING THE PERFORMANCE.

3. POLITE-IT BOWS DOWN AFTER PERFORMANCE.

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A nurse walking thru hosp. with 1 boob hangin out of uniform.

The sr.Doc.caught her.

She said: These ward boys never put back anything in place after using.

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Women's top 5 lies:

1-I love u

2-I'm virgin

3-I hate sex

4-its too big

5-I cant do that, i hate sucking.

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Who enjoys sex more? Man or Woman?

Look at it this way. When ur ear etches & u put ur finger in it & wiggle it around, who feels better?

finger or ear.

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There were 4 pencils in a box, 3 male & 1 female.

female gets pregnent.

Which one is responsible?

Ans:The one without rubber.

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Girls are appetisers. tastes good at anytime.

Mistress are PIZZA-hot & spicy, eaten frequently.

Wife is CURD-RICE, eaten when there's nothing.

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A kiss is a gamble, sex is a game, boys do the action, girls get the blame, they say u r pretty, they say u r fine, but 9 months later, they say its not mine

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Truth !

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed almostunusual funeral procession. A funeral coffin was followed by a secondone about 50 feet behind the first.Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog.Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.
The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking withthe dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time todisturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of youwalking in single line. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."The inquisitive man asked, "What happened to her?"The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife whenthe dog attacked and killed her also."A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"The man replied "Please join the queue."